The Life of a Flame

The Life of a Flame
Prologue

Love affairs weren’t something Nevio planned on dealing with in his four hundred years worth of a life he now lived. His lover’s life force did wonders to his strength, agility and more. He was hardly human anymore. Only the human spirit remained and that was everything. What were his powers without the spirit? Merely powers. He wouldn’t be anything special, just a soulless creature bent on roaming the night and trying to find a life’s purpose that would never be discovered.
Life’s journey now led him to Germany. Like Los Angeles, it was teaming with vampires. Vampires that were harder to find. They didn’t flamboyantly display themselves out in the open like American vampires. They hunted discretely. Why? Because Nevio hunted them. Hey, he needed something to take his angst out on. But even so…the vampires here were different. Perhaps that was a good thing. Anything not American in nature, even if it was a monster, was good. It didn’t remind him of California. It didn’t remind him of…Fiang.
And the affair.
And all the crap he had to endure up until this point. He was going about life in a routine to keep his mind busy…when suddenly, everything changed. Nameless, the ebony feline who was his companion and sidekick, felt it before he did. And when he finally noticed what had her attention, Nevio felt the brush of a cold chill scurry down his spine. It made his head shoot up with a jolt. His electric blue eyes stared into the streets of Berlin, having sensed a very familiar presence that immediately brought on the feelings of broken heartedness and betrayal that he had worked so hard to try and forget. “Fiang…” he uttered in a breath.
Fiang was having a tough time just getting around on his own two feet. He was always a little dramatic. This time was no different. Except that he was near death. It was his own foolishness that made him so weak. And as he thought back on it, he remembered why. Reis had chosen another to be his love. And it left the kami feeling lost and confused. He didn’t feel resentment or hatred of Reis. He never could. So he just accepted it. But what confused him and made him wonder about the house for a few days as a lost puppy would were these…feelings of bewilderment. What’s my purpose in life now? Where do I go from here?...
He wasn’t used to being alone anymore. Not after he had tasted the comfort and amazement of being in love. He used to be independent and secure, but now the nature spirit was in fact extremely dependent-dependent on this feeling called…love…that was mysterious, heartfelt, and no one could explain it any clearer than they could explain God. He had starved himself to the point where he was dangerously hanging between life and death. He fasted for a long time without water and without food. And he rarely slept. All because his mind was too full. He had racked his brain in trying to find a solution to this unbearable loneliness. And he could only come to one conclusion. He could only see one face before him. One pair of eyes that saw him like no one else saw him. Nevio. He had to find Nevio. The heart is a surprisingly very intelligent thing. It knew just where the boy was…
Berlin, Germany.
Fiang didn’t find Nevio so much as Nevio found him. And when he did, Fiang was just about ready to collapse. How he made it this far in such condition, the boy couldn’t fathom. But that didn’t matter now. What mattered was that coming closer and closer to their weakened prey was a band of hungry, ravenous, European vampires. Fiang was quite out of it, smiling a peaceful smile at Nevio when he saw the boy was right in front of him and looking at him very dismayed. It didn’t occur to him that now Nevio was also in danger. He was just happy to finally see him.
“Fi, you fool! Why did you come here like this, you’re in no condition to do anything right now!” Nevio roared with rising excitement and fear. You came to find me. You came for me to love you…But you’re too late.
Fiang coughed, still smiling. “You didn’t think you could escape me that easily, did you?”
Nevio didn’t share Fi’s happiness. He wasn’t really all that thrilled to see the kami. Especially now…when there were vampires about to have them both for dinner. He sighed and got ready for a little action-opening his umbrella. The kami’s power swirled and strengthened inside him, the very force that was keeping him virtually immortal. The power took on an angry and dangerous color within his eyes. Red. A fiery, hostile, red. And then he attacked.

The Life of a Flame

The battle was forgotten like the ripples of water in a calm river as they begin to fade away into the vast reaches of the surface of the water before finally disappearing. Nevio, now with dark hair as opposed to blonde, watched out the window of an old, abandoned warehouse that he vanished into with a disheveled, almost dead Fiang in his arms. Fiang seemed so frail. Much smaller in form and in strength than he used to be. Why did he always have to do this? Why did he always have to be the frail one? It made Nevio grit his teeth in frustration. Fi always did a good job of putting him on the spot. Getting his attention and for that matter, his point across. The dying kami was now stretched on a mat on the floor. Silently watching Nevio. He had just awakened from his faint. He blacked out just when he felt the force of Nevio’s attacking body hit him. So disappointed he was that he missed the fight. He would have wanted to see a heroic Nevio in battle with evil creatures. Saving his life…as he always did. Bandaging his wounds. Nursing him.
But it wasn’t the same.
And he could see it in Nevio’s beautiful, sad eyes.
Nevio could feel the kami watching him. Could feel the gentle, but living gaze pressing onto his shoulder blades and neck. He didn’t turn around for a minute or so.
“I thought you were with Reis…Why did you come here?”
Fiang’s voice felt so useless, he didn’t know if he could answer. But somehow, he found that he could. Yet it came out in a raspy, nearly unintelligible tone. “I don’t…know how to answer that, Nevi,” he began, turning his head and looking at the ceiling. “I’m alone. Reis loves another. So….I let him go.”
Nevio turned his gaze as well. It was very close to piercing the shriveled form of his old lover from over his shoulder.
“And you want me to take Reis’s place? That’s all I am to you? A replacement?...That’s all you know, Fi. Replacing people. You wait till one has no use for you and then you go find someone to take their place.”
Tears started to fall from the boy’s eyes. In Fiang’s, they started to form. But his eternal, mysterious smile never left. When Nevio turned around and made his way back to the outstretched god, he kneeled and he swore he could see a light in Fi’s eyes that grew as he came nearer.
Fiang didn’t answer. And Nevio said nothing more for a bit, which left Fiang feeling a little hurt. But could he blame Nevio at all?
“Human lesson number one,” Nevio murmured, a smile finally forming. “People aren’t pieces of candy…And you shouldn’t treat them as such.” His hand reached out and brushed across Fiang’s very hot forehead. There was no telling how sick the kami was. But it was already evident that he wouldn’t make it until morning. What could Nevio do to save him? Fiang’s smile.
Did Fiang want to be saved?
“Wouldn’t that be…human lesson number two?” The kami uttered in his scratchy voice that was also dying. He managed a chuckle. He remembered the time he and Nevio went shopping at the mall, and a very ecstatic kami spent a good deal of time trying to pry the clothes off of the posing mannequins. Human lesson number one, Nevio would recite: Don’t rape the mannequins.
Nevio laughed, sort of. His eyes were misty, but in remembering the same thing Fiang did, it was a success that Fi had cheered up his cherished one even if only a little bit.
“Yeah,” Nevio whimpered. “I guess it would.”
A moment of silence passed between them, a moment wherein Nevio feared that if he didn’t speak to Fi and keep conversation going, the kami would eventually give in. And die.
But he didn’t have to say anything. It was Fiang who spoke before he did. “I don’t have to return from the dead all the time, Nevi…”
Nevio looked at him confusedly.
“What?”
“Reincarnation. I don’t have to keep doing it…” Fiang’s eyes were wider. Whatever he had to say, it was very important. Important enough to keep on ticking…just long enough to get the words out. “There’s a world waiting for me…beyond this one…Its doors are always open. Waiting especially for me…”
Heaven. Nevio already knew.
“Then…why do you keep coming back?”
Fiang’s smile returned. His hand was very weak and shaky when it lifted up and brushed at Nevio’s ebon hair. It was black like Nameless’s fur. And just as soft. But not the golden hair, Fiang was accustomed to. “Things. Protecting people…Experiencing and learning life. Loving you. They’ve all kept me from going to that place. But…I don’t want to go, Nevi. Not now…Not yet…Nng….Let me show you something.”
Fiang fought death. Struggled as he tried to push himself up. But in the end, Nevio had to practically carry him to where he wanted to go. The old, cracked mirror that stood in front of a wall at the opposite side of the room they were in.
“Look, Nevi…” Fiang uttered, pointing to their reflection. “See the light?”
It was true. As Nevio peered, he could see that flickering at the center of Fiang’s chest was a little orb of light, shining like a distant star in the night sky. Nevio had his own light, but it was his aura. It was alive and had completely encircled him, though not as bright as it used to be…
Fiang’s aura…had been reduced to this little shimmer-this little star…at his chest. “This is my life,” the kami whispered. “My power. My strength. My soul. The remainder of my timeline…”
Nevio turned his gaze to stare at Fi completely. All the while, he remained silent, watching Fiang in awe and with tears ready to fall at any moment. But he didn’t convulse with sobs. He was very quiet in fact. And very still.
And Fiang, meanwhile, with whatever will to live he had left, continued to speak. Thank goodness Nevio was paying attention to him-listening to him. He had him enraptured. Thank God. Thank God. It was allowing Fi to stay. Just so long as Nevio was with him and caring about him…he didn’t have to die. He felt more and more like…living. He felt more and more alive. But even so…he was still very weak. Very close to the point of death. It could arrive any second if he didn’t focus. Death could strike him and knock his feet right out from under him. He had to say what he had to say…before it happened.
“I’m just glad…you’re here with me right now, Nevi,” Fiang said softly as his gaze lowered and so did his head. “…If you weren’t here by me now…I don’t think there would be any light left.”
Fiang thought in the past, all he needed was love to survive. Love by itself…was powerful enough to keep him on this planet. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t just love. But…-who- he loved…played a big part on his dependency on this emotion and this life. He loved Reis and though that would be enough, but it wasn’t. In the end…what did he have when Reis left? He thought he would be very distraught and upset over the boy leaving him for another partner…But somehow it…didn’t matter anymore.
And in that instant, Fiang knew why.
He still loved Nevio.
What a Gone with the Wind movie this was turning out to be. Fiang would have laughed. But he didn’t. After he had said this, he didn’t say anything else. His head continued to hang and his gaze proceeded to be downcast.
Nevio witnessed a vision that passed through Fiang’s mind. It was the remainder of his speech. The recollection of how he felt when Reis announced that he had chosen Zana over Fi. A person who thought they were without love would despair. Their beloved…with someone else. But Fi…didn’t despair. And it was…because of Nevio. Nevio was still out there somewhere. Nevio, when it all came down to the grand scheme of things…was still his everything. His master. His container. The one who held onto the leash that guided Fi in his every direction. Nevio…was his reason for living. Both literally and figuratively.
“So,” Nevio murmured, his gaze also lowering, “You’ve returned not just seeking…love itself…but…seeking me?” Were Fiang’s feelings really true? Did he really love him? Or was this all just a game he had forced Nevio into playing…
“Fi?...” Nevio uttered when the kami did not respond. “Oh no….”
“Fi!” He grabbed the man by his shoulders and shook him. He saw that Fi’s eyes were still open, but had begun to roll back into his skull. Only the whites were shown. And the kami released a zombie-like moan. “Fi!!” Nevio shouted again.
He lowered the kami onto the floor. At last, the tears that hadn’t fallen all the while were finally coursing down the sides of his face and leaving little trails as they did. Fiang’s mind was leaving him. Already, he was venturing to that…other land. The Otherworld. Not Heaven. Not Hell. Somewhere…on Earth, yet beyond it. He had been there plenty of times before. He was thinking of this place, the Wheel of Reincarnation, and…Heaven…when he spoke. “Maybe it’s better. Maybe it’s better this way…” Then Nevio could be free of him.
Maybe he was just torturing Nevi this whole time. Maybe he needed to be gone. To appease himself and to appease the ones whose lives he had effected down on earth below.
“D-don’t say that!” Nevio cried. He tried to smile. The whole time he was sweeping Fiang’s face gently with his hands. The frail, blue light emanating from them. It was healing light. But would it work? “You’re gonna be alright…We’re together now, see?” Oh, please don’t leave…Please don’t leave…
Fiang’s eyes had reverted. And even though, he was beginning to see nothing but that Otherworld…he could still see Nevio’s visage in ghostly form…peering through the curtain of one reality between another. Fiang tried to touch Nevio’s face. When he did, Nevio’s eyes closed. Fiang breathed. “I don’t think I’ll be coming back this round…But at least…I got to see you again. One last time.”
And then he sighed a long sigh. And when he did, his eyes rolled back again, his head falling…and landing gently on its side. His eyes closed. He seemed at peace…but Nevio was not.
“Please,” he whimpered, clinging to Fiang’s white shirt and crouching over him. The tears rained from his eyes and fell on the dead god’s chest. “Please don’t leave me….” The boy dropped his head-thumping it upon Fiang’s body and whimpering into his shirt. Still clinging to it as he cried. I love you…
What the mirror revealed to the eyes of anyone who beheld it at this moment…was a glowing boy…weeping over the body of a fallen lord. But after Nevio’s heart had cried out its final song of hope, the light at the dead lord’s chest…started flickering again.
And it was as if someone had turned on the light. And his face colored so drastically back to its normal shade that it was as if he was turned to gold. So pale and ghastly was he before…
And the boy stopped crying. And when he saw what had happened, he smiled and looked back at the mirror.
In the mirror, Fiang smiled timidly and pushed himself up to a sitting position, looking back at Nevio. He had a complete aura around him. It was bright. And in that moment of celebration, so was Nevi’s.
The boy laughed and turned around, throwing his arms around the other’s neck. “Fi!”

There was a next life for everything.